Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
