i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
