Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
