I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
