He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
