My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
