he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize