Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize