I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
