Tell her she can't have a vagina
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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