i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A+ Viking dick
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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