I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
