I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
