My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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