My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
