We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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