I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
