It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
