i used baking grease as lip gloss
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
