Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
