I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
