she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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