Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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