I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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