I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
