that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
