New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You're a waste of cheezeits
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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