Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
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When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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