I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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