Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
