i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
