that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
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I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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