She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
