Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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