Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
