I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
try to milk me bitch
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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