I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dignity is for republicans.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
