So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
