Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
