I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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