he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
