I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
