"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
