Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
