The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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