a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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