Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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