Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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