I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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