i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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