Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize