Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
people are starting to question the shark bite story
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He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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