I'm going to jail i love you
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
