dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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