dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
