just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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