Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
