drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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