The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
