dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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