i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
