That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
