I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
