Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
