Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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