I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
